Shoe Month – the stats
Well, shoe month is over and it was a HUGE SUCCESS!!!! Nah… not really. That’s just marketing hyperbole (i.e. lying). The month was sporadically interesting. I connected with some great people, and a much larger number of fuckwits. I wore all my shoes. Did not acquire any new footwear. I got 3 pedicures to keep up appearances.
Because I was wearing all my shoes, the tall, shiny Italian thigh-boots that started it all have had just one outing. I have actually dragged them all the way to Singapore and Hong Kong with me to show my friends. Much too hot to even contemplate trying them on here, but they look beautiful even lying on the top of my suitcase. I do not look beautiful however – I sacrificed my make-up bag and hair straighteners to bring the boots, and consequently I look like Ronald McDonald – but without the make-up.
So, to the final tally for shoe month:
- Shoes worn – 62 (31 pairs)
- Shoe blogs written – 26 (I just ran out of steam and frankly, even I’m bored with my shoes)
- Hits on my blog – 2,864
- Which means how many actual people read it? – 452
- Feeds to my blog – 112
- Facebook pic and status updates – 24
- Facebook friends lost to shoe month – 0 (but I’m pretty sure they’re just waiting around in case I do something interesting like make pedal porn)
- Twitter followers gained – 862
- Twitter followers lost – 670
- Twitter followers who tried to sell me ‘Twitter Consultancy Services’ – 423
- Twitter followers who tried to get me to lose weight – 98
- Twitter followers who actually have a thing for shoes or feet – 14 (But I admit I followed 3 of them first)
- Twitter followers who are a bit creepy and/or deviant – 3 (I’m dating them all now )
- Free pairs of shoes from Manolo, Jimmy or Christian – 0 (despite quite open begging)
- Blisters – 2
- Frostbitten toes – 3
- Pedicures – 3
That’s it really. Not an unmitigated success is it? The foot fetishist who bought my first six paintings has not made contact. I’ve had dates with three slightly disturbing shoe enthsiasts. Two of them were definately men. I’m not sure about the third (I’m sooo not joking about this)…
I am not an internationally famous shoe blogger, although Dave the Shoe Guy in Chicago might re-publish some of my blogs (check him out - I like him).
That’s it for shoe month folks. Over and out.
Next blog will be about the mating calls of geckos*
*That might be marketing hyperbole also…
Warning: Nudity in this post.
Naked feet and the news
I’ve decided to forego the shoes today. I got up early, feeling a little seedy as a result of too many Fly Buys Coolers last night. And I did wear shoes – but they were a repeat of shoes I’ve already worn this month.
So now it’s Saturday night, I’m exhausted from running around in my repeat shoes all day, and I find myself curled up in my armchair, barefoot, watching the news.
How the heck did that happen? I NEVER used to stay home on Saturday night! Yet tonight, I turned down a very civilised dinner invitation to have cup noodles in my pyjamas in front of the flat screen. Sheesh. Middle age! But at least there’s naked feet on display right?
Do my feet look fat in these?
After my near-naked trapse on the internet in my jandals yesterday (surely the foot equivalent of appearing in a thong), I felt the need to cover up today – hence the red ankle boots under conservative pants. The pedal nudity worked however. Wow! Up to 177 twitter followers today. 65 of them are diet gurus. 80 are social media experts. OK, I get the social media thing. I suppose Twitter is their space – but, I’m still puzzled by the diet gurus. So far, the only pics I’ve posted anywhere are of my face or my feet, both of which are quite slim and fit-looking. They do not belie the delicious roly-poly bits of me that lie between them.
So how did the diet and fitness guys identify me? And why do they keep tweeting food deprivation tips at me? I am that rare breed of woman who is a bit of a porker, but prefers herself that way. I like eating. A lot. As in I like eating very much and large quantities.
In fact, me and my fat feet are headed for a very nice dinner right now diet guys. I plan to eat protien, carbs and fat all in one meal, and may even top it off with some beer. Then I’m thinking some chocolate to cleanse my pallette. Mmmmmmm.
These boots are made for _ _ _ king* (complete as desired)
My new Italian passion
I have just taken possession of an outrageous pair of boots from Ultra Shoes. It took me six weeks to pay for these boots. They were expensive. I don’t mean obscenely expensive – as in equal to the GDP of a small third-world country, but the price I paid could have fed a child in said third-world country for a year.
In addition, the boots are, well… not that practical for me. They’re comfortable enough once I have them on, but in order to get them on, I need the assistance of two circus midgets, a tube of KY Jelly and a big bag of ice. I do not have little people at home.
But… the boots are also tall, sleek and Italian (as are many things I can not resist) and they make me ridiculously happy.
If the shoe fits…
These boots are the 31st pair of shoes in my wardrobe. In honour of the boots, and because there are 31 days in May, I am declaring the month of May as Shoe Month. Each day this month, I intend to update my facebook and twitter profile pics (@technebish) and twitpic with pictures of my shoes du jour. It’s a social experiment. I want to see if I get discovered by shoe lovers and foot fetishists alike. Let’s just give it a whirl, and see where it goes.
…Of shoes and ships – and sealing wax – and cabbages and kings…
Back in 1994 (B.G.), I was ‘discovered’ by an art collector. I made my first six art sales to a man I never met – they were charcoal and pastel sketches of feet that I had made in my life drawing class and I had put them forward for a group exhibition in a small gallery in Hong Kong. I never got to show at that exhibition. The gallery owner made one discreet call, and all six pieces were sold and spirited up The Peak before the exhibition opened. So Mr Foot Art Collector of Hong Kong, if you catch on to this, contact me. I am willing to churn out more feet-related sketches, paintings, stone sculptures, vegetable art, photography, whatever – I’m not too proud.
And any and all comments on my shoes, your shoes, foot fetishism and the meaning of life are welcome. Let’s hear it!