Digital ravings of an analog girl






         Shoes and the meaning of life.

May 26, 2009

The shoes are speed demons Your Honour!

Filed under: Shoe Month @ 6:39 pm
Tags: , , ,
Before I start, if you’re looking for 10 SURE-FIRE TIPS FOR GETTING LAID, it’s a couple of posts down.

The shoes I’m wearing today are definitely not the highest pair of heels I have, but they are the most precipitous.  This means they are the steepest shoes I own (in the literal sense, not the cost-a-bomb sense).  Walking in these shoes requires me to throw my shoulders back to avoid falling on my face (or any of the other bits of me that stick out front).  They are no good for walking any distance.  And forget about running!…

However, these shoes are the ultimate shoes for driving fast.  I don’t know why, but they just push in the accelerator that bit further.  They scream ‘Faster!’ at me.  I have just drag-raced a rather startled boy racer from the Basin Reserve to Courtenay Place.  It was goooood.  If I was driving behind me, I would hate me.

I feel that I should get these shoes out of my system before the Land Transport (Enforcement Powers) Amendment Bill and Vehicle Confiscation and Seizure Bill are passed (those law types could sure use some marketing help with naming these things – you know the press are just going to dub these the car crusher bills).  Imagine having your car crushed.  I can see a whole new twitpic stream emerging.  I’m not sure it would deter boy racers.  Maybe if the boy racer was in the car when it was crushed?  That would put me off. 

I’m off to the supermarket now.  I feel a carpark wheelie coming on.  Is coercion by shoes a valid defence?  It’s my story and I’m sticking to it.



2 Comments »

  1.   Madge — May 27, 2009 @ 9:08 pm    

    Ha ha ha you are SO funny!

  2.   Rani — June 3, 2009 @ 5:30 pm    

    I realise shoe month is now over but where the rest of the blogs???

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