Digital ravings of an analog girl

Bridget Riley’s Metamorphosis

A couple of weeks ago, I had an epiphany. 

I have a fantastic job, that pays well, with a great company, a team I like, fancy offices, substantial freedom to pursue what I think is relevant, budget to spend and the power to get what I want due to the company’s high profile. 

My epiphany was that I don’t enjoy my job.

I don’t know why I didn’t realise this before.  I have felt an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with my work for some time now, but I kept going, thinking it was just a phase.  So the realisation that I don’t like my fantastic job hit me like a bolt of lightening.  I was suprised… I’m a bit thick sometimes. 

So what did I do? 

I quit.  Yup.  Immediately.  In fact I barely made it through our Monday morning WIP before blurting it out to my boss and then my team.  Everyone was suprised, because … well… see paragraph 1.

So there’s been some introspection on my part lately (that’s why I’ve been quiet).  Why don’t I like my fantastic job?  Why this compulsion to be done with it quickly?  Why did I feel so fantastic as soon as I made the decision to leave?  Why am I enjoying my job so much now that the end is in sight?

I guess part of the answer is my long standing love affair with change.  I love changing jobs, moving house, moving countries, changing lovers (well… who doesn’t like a new lover, right?) 

The itch to change something, anything, usually starts with a change in my appearance.  My hairstyle changes more often that the guard at Buckingham Palace. If I change my hair colour or style, it usually means curtains for my job… or my boyfriend… or both.

I don’t have the answers.  I’m afraid all my forays into introspection lead to more questions.  I should just give introspection a miss, and accept that new stuff, and starting again makes me happy. 

And chocolate.  Chocolate makes me happy too.