Last week at a briefing, the Minister of Civil Defence, The Hon. John Carter, was heard speaking about the ‘Influential Pandemic’.  I’m not making this up – I couldn’t make something this good up! 

What I want to know, is how do I catch Influentia?  I don’t need a serious dose of it – just a mild case would do, so that I can get my pub quiz team to listen to me and convince my boss to change my title to ‘Grand Poobah of Everything’ (g-Poe for short).  Maybe I just need an Influentia vaccination shot?

But I am worried about possible side effects of Influentia.  Such as National Party membership, mispronounciation and an increase in general wankiness (that’s the adjective, not General Wankiness who heads up the Civil Defence Force ).

P.S. What the heck is Sarah Palin on? Do they put something in the water there in Wasilla?