Digital ravings of an analog girl

The gentlewoman and the Government…
October 27, 2009, 5:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I’m now in my last short week of gainful employment.  I feel like I should be more panicked about my impending destitution, but I just can’t get upset or excited about it.  Unlike most successful career women (yes, I consider myself to be one), I’m not defined by my job.  Truthfully, I’m really looking forward to some unemployment.

But alas, this can not be a long term status.  Creditors and panicked family members are demanding to know what I’m going to do next.  So, I have a couple of options:

  1. Get me another job, or some overpaid contract work, that will return maximum income for moderate effort.
  2. Find me a filthy rich, sugar-daddy who will keep me as his mistress, in exchange for appearing at his side in a low-cut dress at special occasions and the odd sexual favour (I mean occassional sexual favour, but if he likes odd ones, I guess I could do that too).

Man wearing money sign.

My search for a candidate for option 2 has been quite fruitless so far.  There have been a few gentlemen proposed by well meaning friends and colleagues, but I think they fail to understand the extent and importance of the ‘filthy rich’ requirement.  Although I would make a excellent mistress, I am not for the faint-walleted.

So, it looks like option 1 will have to be the goer.  For this reason, I find myself dating the Government.  Yes, the Government.

The Government is a somewhat timid lover.  Always open to meeting up; always pays for the date; always enthusiastic; very interested in me and what I think; says and does all the right things… but oh so slowly! 

Every move the Government makes, has to be checked and counter-checked by the Powers That Be.  I’d really like to date the Powers That Be, but the Government is also jealous and possessive, and won’t introduce me.

There have already been several dates with the Government, and so far, …nothin’!  Only loving gazes, compliments, and more dates.  When will we get to hand holding, necking, …closing the deal!  Maybe the Government is just a tease…

Yep, I’m getting a fair idea of what being in a relationship with the Government will be like…

Of epiphanies and metamorphosis…
October 2, 2009, 11:40 am
Filed under: Pure stupidity | Tags: , , , ,

Bridget Riley's Metamorphosis
Bridget Riley’s Metamorphosis

A couple of weeks ago, I had an epiphany. 

I have a fantastic job, that pays well, with a great company, a team I like, fancy offices, substantial freedom to pursue what I think is relevant, budget to spend and the power to get what I want due to the company’s high profile. 

My epiphany was that I don’t enjoy my job.

I don’t know why I didn’t realise this before.  I have felt an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with my work for some time now, but I kept going, thinking it was just a phase.  So the realisation that I don’t like my fantastic job hit me like a bolt of lightening.  I was suprised… I’m a bit thick sometimes. 

So what did I do? 

I quit.  Yup.  Immediately.  In fact I barely made it through our Monday morning WIP before blurting it out to my boss and then my team.  Everyone was suprised, because … well… see paragraph 1.

So there’s been some introspection on my part lately (that’s why I’ve been quiet).  Why don’t I like my fantastic job?  Why this compulsion to be done with it quickly?  Why did I feel so fantastic as soon as I made the decision to leave?  Why am I enjoying my job so much now that the end is in sight?

I guess part of the answer is my long standing love affair with change.  I love changing jobs, moving house, moving countries, changing lovers (well… who doesn’t like a new lover, right?) 

The itch to change something, anything, usually starts with a change in my appearance.  My hairstyle changes more often that the guard at Buckingham Palace. If I change my hair colour or style, it usually means curtains for my job… or my boyfriend… or both.

I don’t have the answers.  I’m afraid all my forays into introspection lead to more questions.  I should just give introspection a miss, and accept that new stuff, and starting again makes me happy. 

And chocolate.  Chocolate makes me happy too.